Adoptive parents open their hearts and their families for orphans. They think they save these children from disaster which waits for these children in the future. They are ready to give love, care and nurture to compensate all years without parental love, without mom and dad. They dream about how happy this child will be to have a family. How grateful and loving in return.
But then reality strikes and a happy process turns into a disaster for a family.
Some children, especially older, have so much damage to their soles and characters that having them as a family member can be a dramatic challenge. They are grown up and formed personalities. They could have lived in an orphanage for too long that they can not fully accommodate into a family. Destructing themselves they destruct the adoptive family.
I am not talking about mood swings or swearing in public, I am talking about sexual abuse of siblings and parents, pathological lies which lead to parents in jail, threat and abuse which can be life threatening to the adoptive family members, alcohol and drugs, running away and living in the streets, and so on and so forth.
The families feel lost because they do not know what to do. They are even afraid to share it in their adoption groups, because of rage and judgments wave which will follow. People are so fast to judge. Some families suffer for years. They feel stuck: they can not parent this child and they can not return the child back.
I have clients which wrote me after years of suffering, marriages ruined and younger biological children in therapy.
If, in spite of your efforts, adoption did not work out, it can be cancelled. The procedure is performed by a legal suit in the Ukrainian court and often without the presence of the adoptive parents. The time frame: 2-4 months in the average. The child is returned to Ukraine to the Children’s Protective Services which placed the child for adoption. On our end, we make sure that the child continues with proper education to become an independent citizen in the future.
Please write to me to www.LawyerInUkr@gmail.com if you face a problem like this. I will be happy to help your family find solution to this problem.
Natalia M. Kovalchuk
Attorney At Law, LL.M